No Longer Tethered

Recently, I was able to visit my twin sister in Denver, a unique city that allowed her to thrive and find her niche. This was the first time I was an outsider in her community and it was alluring. For 21 years, Heather and I have been each others rocks, each others mirrors, and each others dependencies. For 21 years, we shared a bedroom, knew each others deepest secrets, and understood each others inner passions and torments. I was able to see our relationship grow as kids at home in Hong Kong, and then further evolve as adults in college. Growing up, we were very much alike, we had similar hobbies, similar tastes in fashion and music, and similar tastes in friends. However, our temperaments were far from analogous and our academic and personal interests diverged just so slightly. On the contrary, these past two years, I haven’t been able to witness the transient and immediate growth of our relationship as we were not physically together. For the first time, I was like everybody else witnessing a snap shot of her life.

For the past two years, we have been living apart and thriving independently, perhaps because of the curiosity we had about how different we could possibly be. No doubt, our career choices prompted us to polarize geographically, but we both had the inkling to find out what life could be without the other, without our destined best friend, sister, and soulmate.

When I was in Denver with Heather, I was elated, calm, content, and curious about her individualistic life. Her countless colleagues and friends knew her as Heather, and not as the “Chan twin”- and for the first time, this was fascinating to see. I admire her courage to settle in a foreign place, and her dauntlessness to explore with no limitations. Her compassionate, warm, and daring personality naturally helped her find a community with many friends and opportunities to a myriad of new hobbies that would not have been found if she were “tethered” to me. Because of this, I am thankful, that our slight difference in academic interests and therefore career choice, separated us, and allowed us to understand the limitless capacity of independent life.

These past two years have undoubtedly made us more different than ever. I am humbled to have witnessed her flourish without me, yet heartbreaking that we no longer are “tethered” to each other. Conceivably, this transformation is what being an adult means. I am perpetually curious about how things will keep changing, or perhaps converge one day. I am humbled to have had 21 years of unconditional physical and emotional support and thrilled to see how the next few years will deepen our relationship.

Although we are now “untethered”, we are still as close as ever, are still each others support system, best friend, and family. The pictures below show that although we live our separate lives, we are still sisters who love, bicker, and make up.